Ok so I am not by any means the 1% unless you are talking about the percentage of people that put mayonnaise on their broccoli. Don’t judge me it will change your life.
These days we hear a lot about the 1%, and here is how you can feel like it without any money.
No need to fly to New York on a private jet with a gold plated toilet while feasting on skittles, just the green one because the other colors are beneath you. You don’t have to spend 50k on a dress that your gonna forget where you took off because you were blacked out on some drug the poor people don’t even know about yet. No, what you can do to feel like the 1% and it won’t cost you a dime is…….. Go to Walmart in Myrtle Beach in the summer! I don’t know if you have experienced this but a visit to Walmart is always filled with amazing people and scenery no matter where you are. You add to that the Walmart in the Red Neck Riviera and you just turned it up to 11. The only way to feel more like the 1% is to kick it up a notch by going to Walmart in Myrtle Beach on Black Friday, which I have done and it was amazing. I didn’t take pictures cause I didn’t want Bubba to stick me with his hunting knife but it was truly incredible. For a 24 hour store they are open for regular business for Black Friday but they have a special “Black Friday Section” that is roped off and they have this line of people in line, like cattle on the way to be slaughtered, waiting for the chance at out running the dude in the confederate flag tank top with the mullet and frayed jean shorts to the special on deep fryers. Meanwhile, I walk in to the non line area, pick up the kitchen aid mixer from the regular shelf, wait 10 mins until it is after midnight, and go check out with the Black Friday price and I’m out.
There are a lot of videos of the best of Walmart on the interwebs but if you want to experience every one of those video and reflect on just how far you have come in life, go to Walmart in Myrtle Beach. If you don’t feel completely satisfied stop at a wings afterwards. I wish I had pictures from my visit but I didn’t have the guts. Maybe I can convince Keri to put on her American flag bikini and daisy Dukes and try to blend in with the locals as we secretly take pictures for you fine people of the interwebs.
Oh by the way, if you click and visit a sponsor on this page, I don’t not get money from them.