Here’s how beach trips start with our army of children. We scheduled to leave town at 3:30-4. At 6:30 we pull out of the drive way. What was the delay you ask? Well my wife didn’t get home until close to 5 because of workload on her last day of work, so that’s understandable but then we had to make sure that everything unfolded was folded and every bed un-made was made and every dish un-clean was made clean before we could leave the house. Which I understand because if someone breaks in to our house we don’t want them to think we are slobs. So we hit the road and we stop outside of Greensboro for dinner at my favorite place on earth, Smithfields Chicken and BBQ. The most interesting thing about the meal was Philip’s red hot dog. I don’t know the origin of the red hot dog or why it’s red but it scares the crap out me. Why would you make the most disgustingly made but most delicious food on earth look like what I picture baboon poop to look like. It’s like someone said, “what could relay to people that they are eating a medley of body parts from a cornucopia of animals? I know lets warn them by making it bright red”. Maybe it’s the opposite and hotdogs are naturally red and some marketing genius thought of making them not look like a blood stick and came up with the first non red hotdog and it sold like crazy. But if that were true why would you still buy red ones. Anyway I digress, the rest of the trip was fun and we arrived in Mrytle BeAch at 12:30am.
Today we went out on the beach which in reality was 98 degrees with a 112 degree heat index, but here’s what it felt like to me: you know when you go in the bathroom after someone takes a hot shower and you have to take a number 2. There may be a fan but it’s barely moving any air and you start to get a little sweaty and terribly uncomfortable. It’s hard to get a deep breath and then you look over and there’s no toilet paper. So your trapped in this place of hot, humid, super uncomfortableness and you just want to run to a hose or air conditioner? Your mind goes to a dark place and you want to jump out the window? That’s what the weather is really like in Myrtle Beach, but you won’t hear that on the weather channel.