I haven’t done a daddy diaries entry in a while but thought I will give a little taste of the ridiculousness that is my life. I’ll give you two tonight.
1. Two weeks ago my lovely bride dropped her phone and it broke the screen and then just stopped working. She has a long history of destroying technology and luckily she is way better with babies than she is with cell phones or I would be celebrating her birthdays from her jail visiting room. So luckily we had insurance on the phone and paid the deductible and got a new one. Two days later, she drops the new one! Screen shatters but the phone still worked. That is until yesterday when she shut it in the car door. So today we got her another new one and the biggest case we could find. If she could still use it I would wrap the thing in bubble wrap and tie it to her arm.
2. One week ago our sewer line clogged. After wrestling turds for 50 feet with a snake I was unable to free the clog and called the big guns. At 82 feet they found a bunch of roots and cleared them and told us we would be ok for a little while but needed to replace the whole thing. Fast forward until two days ago and Keri walks down in the basement to a puddle of turds and toilet paper! So we got that all cleaned up and got a couple of quotes for replacing it, all more than I spent on my first car. So Keri and the kids have been staying at her parents while I camp out in the turd factory. We can flush the toilet about once a day without it backing up so we have been saving up in the the toilet all the good stuff from the day and releasing it over time. Until tonight when we walked in on our dog eating a little tootsie roll my youngest left in the toilet to save for the daily flush without closing the lid. So now not only do the bathrooms smell but so does my dogs breath! Good news is we only have to wait until NEXT WEDNESDAY to have it fixed. #livingthedream