The cat has abandoned me. Last night, I went to see Caesar’s little brother Little Caesar to beg for scraps. He is a tall man with speakers on his ear and a microphone. He cut me a deal and I was able to acquire a pizza that had cheese in the crust for $9.99. He also had used his God-like powers to extract dew from the mountains and bottle it. For some reason the dew in the mountains is green colored but it tastes amazing. Much better than the dew from the valley. I got home and bonded with the dogs. The guy that comes with the envelopes returned again today but didn’t leave any envelopes that said I owed money! Maybe he is realizing that I don’t know what to do with them. Although the house was secure and no one stole the food residue from the dishes again or my floor dust, I did come outside to a villager driving some machine across my grass and cutting my cover down. I guess he wasn’t deterred by the dog poop piles I had left as land mines. I am told that they call him Father-in-law. He was accompanied by a woman that ran a long rubber tube from my house that carried water to some plants the wife had planted before she left. While my cover won’t continue to grow to provide me protection, I will have to think of other ways to protect the house from the foreign IRS man with my arrest warrant. I’m thinking tonight is the night to start construction of my fortress of solitude out of couch cushions in the basement. I have seen the children make these and they seem to do the trick to avoid people asking you for things. There was a new person to the house that came from the Amazon and dropped a brown box on my porch. I am thinking of seeking the guidance of the police officer down the road if I should blow it up or open it. It may be a ploy by the IRS guy to get me out in the open. I haven’t made any progress on the drawer refiller and no one seems to know any repair guys for it. I did notice in the dark corner of the basement there are two machines that have clothes in them. Maybe somehow they are related to the drawer refiller. I will pull out my encyclopedias tonight and do some research from the fortress. While I have shelter, and little Caesar has agreed to provide me for food at a great deal, every question I answer, I discover more questions. Where does the toilet paper come from? The roll is getting low in the bathroom so I changed bathrooms but I only have one bathroom left so I have to figure it out in the coming days. What about paper towels? I have resorted to using my t-shirts but with the drawer refiller out of order, I am running out of options. Why are there so many pillows on my bed? I only use one but there are 8 of them. Was my wife preparing for the day when I will need to fend off an attacker from the IRS? There is can in the kitchen that is filled with trash. Why does that make sense? Wouldn’t you want to take the trash out of the house instead of leave it in the kitchen? The can doesn’t seem to do anything and is starting to smell. I wonder if it too might be broken. I did notice that there were two larger cans at the end of everyone’s drive way yesterday. I was concerned that this may have been a signal kind of like Passover when the Jewish people spread the blood of a lamb on their door so I found two big cans on wheels next to the house and rolled them down to the end of the driveway. When I got home they were all still there but the lids were opened and they were empty so maybe it was a sacrifice. Glad I noticed or I may have lost my first born. If I am home tomorrow will the envelope guy still come? I’ll have to let you know. Maybe I can set up a line of communication with him. I did not hear from the IRS guy yesterday which was a little sad. It would have been good to hear his voice. I don’t know if he is coming for me or not, but my wife has equip me with a never ending supply of pillows so he had better watch out.